Pretzel Mission

Cheap grocery store, 2015

At some cheap grocery store I go in, I end up scanning all the rows and walking to the snack corner. Obviously. I cannot seem to find the pretzels I want. A guy passes by to go to the cash and then turns around and starts talking to me in German. I reply back I don't understand (and in my head thinking.. I need to obviously concentrate on these pretzels, stop distracting me). So he switches to English and holds out a bottle of red wine. And asks me, "Uh do you know if this is red wine?" I stare at him because I figure he is not serious.. until I realize he maybe is. I say yes.. even the little picture of purple grapes on the label show you it is red wine. "Ok, thanks" and I think  he is about to leave, but of course this cannot be the end of the story.

"I have never seen you around here."

"Around the grocery store? Sometimes I come to buy food. When I am hungry."

"Yeah, are you new?"

"Not really." Still concentrating on pretzels, friend. Go away.

"Cool, are you a student?"

"No, I work..." Go away.

"Ok, did you come here by yourself?"

"No, my husband came here first and I came after. I brought my two kids _____ and _____ with me. They are in kindergarten."

"Ok."

"Ok.."

"BYYYEEEE" Pretzels found.

Line up. He comes after and is behind me, but then lets another guy go in front of him.

All I wanted was pretzels. Leave me alone.

I need a sandwich, and now.

November 2015

Heading back home after work. I see a car parked in front on the sidewalk in front of me. It is dark, the lights inside his car are on. I assume perhaps he is waiting for someone to come out of the apartment, someone to pick up. Or he is checking his phone. Or checking for directions. As I pass by quickly, all I see is him opening a package of cheese slices. Sometimes, you need to swerve to the side of the road to just eat some cheese or make a sandwich. No big deal.

Advent wreaths and Broken Laundry Machines

Zurich, 2014

It has been some time..

Our laundry machine is broken. So we have to go downstairs to the dark basement in our apartment. This story sounds great already doesn't it? I put my laundry in earlier and came back after an hour to pick it up. It is around 21:30. You think everyone is back in their apartments cozy and watching a show before heading to sleep. But no. I bring the silly Advent wreath down with me to put away in our cellar. I had been meaning to for days and had just left it by the door. Expecting it to roll down the stairs and lock itself. So I prance on down to the dark stairs. And hear someone walking downstairs in the dark. No fear M, you walk in the woods in the dark on your own all the time. You got this. At the same time I bet some plastic wreath pine needles have fallen off from my grasp.

So there is some man, bald prancing around and talking to me in Swiss German. Until I tell him I can only speak English. Ok, so he is M, and he has his music studio in the very back of the basement. Ok everything is better now. So he asks if I am doing laundry. Yes, and putting away this wreath. Our conversation is clearly going so smoothly, best Wednesday night ever. Then we talk about guitars and drums. And he says I can see the studio if I want. I say, no I need to put this wreath away and don't want to bother. And he answers, no, he is just practicing on his own. So I decide to take my Advent wreath with me and see the room. Because I have passed it so many times and never got to see it. Brilliant M.

So I walk in and he suddenly sits down at the piano and starts to sing into his microphone and play piano. Ok. Ok this is cool. I just thought I was supposed to see inside. But here we go. A solo concert. Don't forget I am still holding this stupid wreath with me standing in the middle of the room. He finishes that and then brings out his green guitar and starts playing and lets not forget singing George Michael's "Faith". I don't know if he is singing in a certain style or if he just doesn't know the words. But it was good, I'll give him that. There was an electric guitar, but we aren't quite there yet at our friendship level.

So in the end I was sitting on the couch. All I came down for was my laundry and to put this wreath away. I said "good job, that was nice". After some other important talk about washing machines he gave me 7 or so flyers for the 3 bulletin boards I have at work. I walked away and opened the first cellar door. Forgot the other key for our cellar. Threw the wreath by the door, took my laundry and resumed my journey back to my apartment 3 floors up.

Thank goodness I decided to wear pants at least, I thought I could run down really fast and back up without bumping into anyone which I usually do.

In conclusion, this is why I try not to leave my house.. or my apartment too much. Good night.

Zurich, Switzerland
July 2014

Never in the city on a Saturday but today was an exception. As I was walking by one group I noticed the majority were standing under a shop roof cover, away from the hot sun. Some dared to go out of the shade and grab a shot of the Grossmunster. Quickly scurrying back into the shadows when their task was completed.

As I come closer I hear the group leader trying to explain the church. I realize its all in Polish. Suddenly a group of ladies in stress and fans waving away furiously stop the tour leader in the middle of his lovely history:

"But why is it so hot? What is the temparture?!"

...35..the tour guide explains and continues on.

Leave it to a bunch of 50 year old ladies to just completely forget where they are and just start complaining about things and not listening to anything. ;)

Zurich, Switzerland
July 2014

The following day after incident one I decide to do the simple task of traveling from work back home. A simple task, where nothing is supposed to happen. Point A to Point B, 20 minutes done. No. Never done.

I am a minute away from home walking along the street and I see these two men walking with this rat on a leash. It wasn't actually a rat, but a dog. But from far away you don't no these things.

So they pass and one turns around and starts to speak in this language I do not know. This got me thinking while I stared that it is about time I start learning. So we switch to English and he starts to say that the dog..rat..whatever it was needs a mom. That I should be its mom.

- No thanks, I don't really fancy dogs.

- Oh no, no he is a good dog and needs to be taken care of!

- No, I don't like children either. No dogs, no children.

- Where are you from?

- Canada.

- Ah! Mais souffle de bonhomme de neige..other French things..

- No I am from the English speaking part.

- Aha! Ok well I am from North Africa and speak Arabic!

- And my dog, he speaks Spanish.

So at this point the dog is barking like crazy.

- He is saying no no no in Spanish! He does not want his mom to leave.

- I am not his mom.

- Ok well this was a nice..conversation we had.

- Yes, it was lovely. Thanks. Bye.

- Bye.

Zurich, Switzerland
July 2014

Coming to Switzerland I felt as if my blog would deteriorate. It felt as if no one talks to anyone. But I was wrong. This month has led to some interesting conversations. And it feels as if it is only the beginning.

On a Sunday I was waiting at the tram stop reading my book. For some reason this is a bad thing to do, listen to music or read a book because it seems to be more of an invitation for others to talk to you? Why. I have headphones in for a reason. A. Music is nice. B. I don't want to hear anyone else crying or screaming into their phone at 8 AM.

So a very lovely, drunk man comes to close to comfort speaking in Swiss German, until he naturally switches to English when we realize this communication is just not going to work. Its 11 AM, remember this as well. A Sunday. So he starts talking literature. How there is this one Swiss author to check out and a Mexican one.

He gets on the same tram, and says only one stop. But he is so into talking about the Latin American culture and scientology that he misses his stop. The whole time he is swaying back and forth in the tram. Drinking + tram = chaos.

He decides to get off at the next stop and so we continue this journey. He is very happy we talked books and we shake hands. He says he won't follow me he just has to go pee over there.

Zurich, Switzerland
2013

Around the tram station, I look out my window and see two men in Robin Hood costumes. Shoes, hat, tights and all. Green and brown. That same week or month, driving back when I stop for some pedestrians crossing. It doesn't click until after they have fully walked across, that these two guys are in robes, in the middle of winter, with some rain boots on.